Zero

(Sera's learning some basic math - I'm able to ask what 3 + 2 is, she'll hold up three fingers on one hand, two fingers on the other and come up with five as the answer. Today, I was seeing if she understood the concept of zero.)
Me: "Sera, if you start out with zero fingers (I held up a fist), and add two fingers (I held up two fingers on my other hand), how many fingers do you have?"
Sera: "Two!"
Me: "That's right! If I start out with zero apples in my basket and add five, how many do I have?"
Sera: "Five!"
Me: "Good! If I start out with zero dogs in the room, and bring in twelve dogs, how many dogs do I have?"
Sera: "Lots!"

Vehicular Manslaughter

(We're at the neighbourhood park. One of Sera's friends from pre-school is driving around in his little electric jeep. Sera wants to go over to see him)
Mom: "Sera, you can go over to see Tate, but I don't want you driving his car, OK?"
Sera: "Why?"
Mom: "Because you ran over him last time."

Mr. Bunny goes to Ottawa

(After the Easter morning egg hunt in the backyard)
Sera: "Dad, Santa Claus lives in the North Pole."
Me: "And where do you think the Easter Bunny lives?"
Sera: "umm.... Ottawa?"

Cursing

(After I cursed without realizing that Sera was within hearing distance...)
Sera: "Dad? What does Jesus H. Christ mean?"

Sera teaches me about frogs

Sera: "Dad? Do you know why frogs' feet are sticky?"
Me: "Why is that?"
Sera: "So that they can climb in trees. Also when frogs are babies, they don't look like frogs. They look more like fish."
Me: "Wow. That's right. Where did you learn all about frogs?"
Sera: "From Cat In The Hat."
Me: "Well, that's good, I guess. But don't you think that your dad should be teaching you about this kind of stuff?"
Sera: "No, Dad. I need to teach you."

Pancakes

(First thing Saturday morning, Sera comes down to the kitchen. Saturdays are usually pancake days, and Sera LOVES pancakes.)
Sera: "What day is it today, Daddy?"
Me: "It's Saturday, today."
Sera: "....... Pancakes!!"

Mommy's Portrait

(Sera has an etch-a-sketch type tablet on which she's started doing some doodles. In particular, she's started drawing faces and doing a pretty good job at it too. I came home from work yesterday and saw that she had another great portrait to show me)
Me: "Wow, Sera! What a great drawing."
Sera: "It's a picture of Mommy."
Me: "Very nice. What is this right here, it looks like an 'H' in between her two legs?"
Sera: "That's Mommy's hoo-hoo."
(Bwa-ha-ha!)