Bathroom Talk

(Sera's using the bathroom. Her 18-month old sister is in there with her. I'm in the kitchen. I didn't hear how the conversation started, but it ended with this:)

Sera: "That's not a bum! It's a vagina, silly!"

Splashing and Yelling

(During her bath this morning, Sera was succeeding in emptying the the tub onto the bathroom floor with her energetic splashing and kicking. I yelled at her to stop only when the previous two normal-voice requests were ignored. Sera brought up the incident during an afternoon snack few hours later.)

Sera: "Dad, you need to stop yelling at me."
Me: "You mean like I did during your bath this morning?"
Sera:  "Yeah."
Me: "I'll make a deal with you. I promise to stop yelling, if you promise to listen to me when I ask you to do something."
Sera: "OK.... But Dad? I couldn't hear you asking over all that noise from splashing!"

(Perry Mason moment: If you couldn't hear me, how did you know that I was asking you to stop? Ha! The prosecution rests!)

Though inspired, Sera's defense is similar to somebody explaining to a cop, "But officer, how do expect me to see a speed limit sign when I'm going that fast?

I Love You Mommy

Sera: "Mom?"
Rachel: "Yes, dear?"
Sera: "I love you."
Rachel: "Aww. That's nice. Thank-you, sweetie. You should tell that to Daddy, too."
Sera: "Daddy?"
Me (anticipating a lovely father/daughter moment): "Yes, dear?"
Sera: "I love mommy."
[... sound of my ego deflating slightly...]

No farmers, please

(at the beach I sometimes wear a floppy straw hat that came free with a case of beer. Sera doesn't like it.)
Me: "You don't like my hat, do you?"
Sera: "No. You look like a farmer."
Me: "What's wrong with looking like a farmer?"
Sera: "Are you a farmer?"
Me: "No."
Sera: "I don't want you to be a farmer."
Me: "Why not?"
Sera: "I don't want to talk about that right now."

Sneaky Bagpipes

(walking back to the cottage from the beach, I could hear somebody playing the bagpipes in the distance)
Me: "Sera. Do you hear that?"
Sera: "What?"
Me: "Bagpipes! Man, I love the bagpipes."
Sera: "Me too. They're so sneaky."

Capital C

(Sera's sitting on the toilet.)
Me: "Are you done going pee?"
Sera: "I just had to go poo, too."
(after the requisite bowl check)
Me: "Wow, that's a big one."
Sera: "Let me see . . . It looks like a capital C."

Too Tired

Sera: "I'm too tired to go to bed."