Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Love You Mommy

Sera: "Mom?"
Rachel: "Yes, dear?"
Sera: "I love you."
Rachel: "Aww. That's nice. Thank-you, sweetie. You should tell that to Daddy, too."
Sera: "Daddy?"
Me (anticipating a lovely father/daughter moment): "Yes, dear?"
Sera: "I love mommy."
[... sound of my ego deflating slightly...]

Monday, July 18, 2011

No farmers, please

(at the beach I sometimes wear a floppy straw hat that came free with a case of beer. Sera doesn't like it.)
Me: "You don't like my hat, do you?"
Sera: "No. You look like a farmer."
Me: "What's wrong with looking like a farmer?"
Sera: "Are you a farmer?"
Me: "No."
Sera: "I don't want you to be a farmer."
Me: "Why not?"
Sera: "I don't want to talk about that right now."

Sneaky Bagpipes

(walking back to the cottage from the beach, I could hear somebody playing the bagpipes in the distance)
Me: "Sera. Do you hear that?"
Sera: "What?"
Me: "Bagpipes! Man, I love the bagpipes."
Sera: "Me too. They're so sneaky."

Capital C

(Sera's sitting on the toilet.)
Me: "Are you done going pee?"
Sera: "I just had to go poo, too."
(after the requisite bowl check)
Me: "Wow, that's a big one."
Sera: "Let me see . . . It looks like a capital C."

Too Tired

Sera: "I'm too tired to go to bed."

Monday, May 23, 2011

The Perfect Segue

(Sera was watching me bathe Ceilidh this morning and pointed to the plastic strainer covering the bath drain.)
Sera: "Why do you use that thing?"
Me: "It keeps Ceilidh's fur from clogging the drain."
Sera: "Clog? I clogged the toilet once because I had a big, big, BIG poop."

Darth Vader's Light Saber

(Sera's cousin, Aleksander, was over at the cottage, proudly wielding his toy blue light saber)
Me: "Wow, Aleksander, that's a pretty cool light saber. Is that the same as Luke Skywalker's?"
Aleksander: "No, not Luke's. This is Darth Vader's."
Sera: "No! Darth Vader's is red!"
(My daughter is SO cool!!)

Monday, April 25, 2011


(Sera's learning some basic math - I'm able to ask what 3 + 2 is, she'll hold up three fingers on one hand, two fingers on the other and come up with five as the answer. Today, I was seeing if she understood the concept of zero.)
Me: "Sera, if you start out with zero fingers (I held up a fist), and add two fingers (I held up two fingers on my other hand), how many fingers do you have?"
Sera: "Two!"
Me: "That's right! If I start out with zero apples in my basket and add five, how many do I have?"
Sera: "Five!"
Me: "Good! If I start out with zero dogs in the room, and bring in twelve dogs, how many dogs do I have?"
Sera: "Lots!"

Vehicular Manslaughter

(We're at the neighbourhood park. One of Sera's friends from pre-school is driving around in his little electric jeep. Sera wants to go over to see him)
Mom: "Sera, you can go over to see Tate, but I don't want you driving his car, OK?"
Sera: "Why?"
Mom: "Because you ran over him last time."

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Mr. Bunny goes to Ottawa

(After the Easter morning egg hunt in the backyard)
Sera: "Dad, Santa Claus lives in the North Pole."
Me: "And where do you think the Easter Bunny lives?"
Sera: "umm.... Ottawa?"


(After I cursed without realizing that Sera was within hearing distance...)
Sera: "Dad? What does Jesus H. Christ mean?"

Friday, April 22, 2011

Sera teaches me about frogs

Sera: "Dad? Do you know why frogs' feet are sticky?"
Me: "Why is that?"
Sera: "So that they can climb in trees. Also when frogs are babies, they don't look like frogs. They look more like fish."
Me: "Wow. That's right. Where did you learn all about frogs?"
Sera: "From Cat In The Hat."
Me: "Well, that's good, I guess. But don't you think that your dad should be teaching you about this kind of stuff?"
Sera: "No, Dad. I need to teach you."

Saturday, April 16, 2011


(First thing Saturday morning, Sera comes down to the kitchen. Saturdays are usually pancake days, and Sera LOVES pancakes.)
Sera: "What day is it today, Daddy?"
Me: "It's Saturday, today."
Sera: "....... Pancakes!!"

Friday, April 8, 2011

Mommy's Portrait

(Sera has an etch-a-sketch type tablet on which she's started doing some doodles. In particular, she's started drawing faces and doing a pretty good job at it too. I came home from work yesterday and saw that she had another great portrait to show me)
Me: "Wow, Sera! What a great drawing."
Sera: "It's a picture of Mommy."
Me: "Very nice. What is this right here, it looks like an 'H' in between her two legs?"
Sera: "That's Mommy's hoo-hoo."

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Girl Talk

(Sera has started asking questions about where babies come from and the mechanics of being a girl)
Mom: "Well, mommies bleed once a month so that they can have babies."
Sera: "Where do the babies come out of?"
Mom: "They come out of mommies' vaginas."
Sera: "But they'd get stuck 'cause it's too small."
Mom: "Well, when you're having a baby it gets bigger."
Sera: "Weird!"

Thursday, March 17, 2011

People Food

(At the dinner table, 5-month old Jillian is sitting on my lap and leaning over towards my plate as if she wants to taste the food.)
Sera: "Hey! Jillian's not allowed to eat people food!"

Thursday, March 10, 2011


(Sera's learning her letters. Everyday she'll pick a word for Mom to write on the chalkboard, then will try to copy the letters underneath herself. When I get home from work, Sera likes to show me the word she wrote)
Me: "Whoa that's a big word, Sera. Can you tell me what letters are in that word?"
(she points to each letter in succession)
Sera: "S...C...I...S...S...O...R...S"
Me: "And what word does that spell?"
Sera: "Italy!"

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Booger Cooker

Sera: "Dad, when you come home from work today can you get me my pink bucket that's under the... it's under the... it's under.....umm............ it's.... under.... the.... it's under the booger cooker."
Me: "Booger cooker?... Do mean burger cooker? the BBQ?!"

Friday, February 25, 2011


(on the morning of my birthday)
Mom: "Sera, do you know what's special about today for Daddy?"
Sera: "Yeah! We're having eggs for breakfast!"

Thursday, January 27, 2011

That's terrible!

Sera: "Mom, why does Jillian wake me up in the middle of the night?"
Mom: "Because she cries sometimes."
Sera: "But I don't want her to wake me up in the middle of the night. That's terrible!"

Monday, January 24, 2011


("Amma" is what Sera calls my mom.")
Sera: "Amma has to take lots of vitamins every morning because she's old."

Hot Dog

(Sera's eating a hot dog.)
Mom: "Careful, Sera. It's hot.
Sera: "Yeah, I know. It's a hot dog."

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Me: "Sera, do you want to try snowboarding today?"
Sera: "But Mom fell on her face."
Me: "Oh, you heard about that story, did you?"